Remembering Mum

TW: grief, parental loss.

Today would have been my Mum’s 64th birthday. It’s the second time the day passes without her. During the last few weeks, I’ve had this distant sense that I’ve forgotten to do something. In the hardest moments, I spot something that would be a wonderful gift before reality suddenly dawns.

My Mum was truly one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. She showed me that you can make a huge difference just by stopping to smile and ask someone how they are. She was the steady force that kept our family thriving, in that seemingly effortless way that I only appreciate now I’m trying to do the same for my own—realising that it is anything but effortless.

Loss, at least for now, is an ever present part of my life. It changes in intensity and polarity - some days it feels all consuming and deeply painful, other days a song will trigger a childhood memory and make me smile. I became a mother just a year before I lost my own. I am so grateful that I got to share this experience with her, but there is so much I want to ask her now that I could never have comprehended before.

Call your loved ones. Say out loud all the soppy stuff that you assume they already know. Hug them if you can.

Finally, if you ever experience sudden trauma, play Tetris.